Taoism: Shit happens!
Hinduism: This shit happened before!
Confucianism: Confucius say: Shit happens!
Buddism: It is only an illusion of shit happening.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah!
Jehova's Witness: Knock, knock; Shit happens!
Atheism: There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if i work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, i deserve it!
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you.
Blackism: Motherfuck all this shit!